so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
