My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
