I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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