Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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