After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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