grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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