Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize