i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
