He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
