I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I believe in your delicious
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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