You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
