Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
