The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
