You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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