i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
