he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
