I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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