i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
