i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
