pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
