omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
