just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize