just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
