You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I would fuck him just for his dog
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
