im holly from the hills drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
