The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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