Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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