yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
