Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
