the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
