There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
