I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
