Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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