He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
