I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
