Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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