Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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