the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish my penis had a tongue
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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