Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
