I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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