Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
