In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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