She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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