I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
