No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
