I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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