Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
