Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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