I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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