So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
COCAINE IS GR8
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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