Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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