I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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