You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
