Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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