just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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