There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
