Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
