I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
