You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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