porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
wow bdsm is so cute
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
