Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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